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Things Ash would never say
"Pikachu, I can't stand the sight of you anymore. Now get inside your Poké Ball and stay there." "Okay, Team Rocket, I'll give you Pikachu if you'll pay me 100 Pokédollars." "25 plus 89 divided by 6 take away 12 times 18 is 126. I didn't even need a calculator to do that. Brilliant, huh?" "Uh, no. I'm not saving that Pokémon in distress. Can't you see it's too dangerous?" "Oh great. Not another random character we'll waste our whole day with and never see again. Can't you go and annoy someone else?" "Why don't we try something new today? Let's beat up some random kid and steal his Pokémon." "Officer Jenny? I think Brock is stalking me. Please could you arrest him and throw away the key? Throw it very, very far away." "Oh come on, Team Rocket, I know it's you behind those glasses. Jessie, do you really think putting your hair up works? And Meowth, you are still obviously a Meowth even in freaking clothes. Give me a break!" "Dawn, your skirt is so short, I can't stop staring at it." "I'm changing my name to Pathetic. Paul keeps calling me it and I'm kinda starting to like the sound of it. A lot." "Oh my god. That Pokémon is so ugly. I wish I had never seen it in the first place." "Hey, Professor Oak, I'm really hankering for a steak sandwich. Mind butchering one of my Tauros for me?" "Mom, you're totally getting it on with Professor Oak, aren't you?" "Max, I lied. We're never going to have a battle because we obviously aren't aging and you'll never turn ten years old. I just said that to stop you from whining. Hah. Sucker." "May, are you really ten years old? Your boobs are so big." "God, I hated Richie, that annoying little prat. All I ever wanted to do was punch him in the nose and wipe that smug smile off his face. Damn clone." "Hah hah, Misty. Your Morrison act isn't fooling me. I know you just put on weight and had a sex change operation. Man, you're such a freak." "Pikachu, will you marry me?" "I am the sailor suited pretty soldier of love and justice, Sailor Pokémon Trainer, and in the name of Pikachu, I shall punish you! Like my outfit? The skirt's a bit short, but it's so comfy." "My idiot level is... OVER 9000!!!!!" "Duh? What is this? This is rock? What happen if Ash hit Ash head with rock? Ow. Ash make Ash head hurt." "For God's sake, Brock, open your eyes already! You look so freaking creepy with them closed all the time."
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